A fruit platter for your troubles, sir


I like this as an excuse“Diluted drink story saves Hanoi nightclub manager” — but I bet all the punters who spent two to three trillion ding-dong on bottles of Chivas Regal or Hennessey back in New Century’s prime aren’t so impressed. The former club owner might counter with the argument that the complimentary fruit platter was compensation enough: “Never mind the watery whisky lads, try the star fruit! It’s simply divine! Fresh from the hills of Dalat I believe.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love a nice slice of water melon when quaffing brandy as much as the next man but personally I only drink Chivas Regal when I’m on holiday in the South  Pole fishing for penguins with my two BFFs: “Teddy, did you remember the crystal tumblers?”, “Affirmative, my dear Dunlop, and is Gunther chiselling the ice cubes as we speak?”, “Aye – aye captain!”

I thought that winter’s day would last forever.


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