Celebrity gossip

03Jun09

Everyone in celebrity press world got their knickers in a twist over Nicole Kidman and suggestions she was going to adopt a kid from Vietnam. She’s furious… actually “HER PEOPLE” are furious and deny the claims. The dude who was quoted as saying she was adopting a kid is furious and claims he was misquoted. Meanwhile we mostly don’t care though we did notice how Nicole of late has become disturbingly translucent and wonder if she’s eating enough prime Australian Ribeye. 

“Who’s a good little ball?” 

Elsewhere, everyone in the football press world has got their knickers in a twist on hearing Denilson, a former Brazilian international, is coming to play for Haiphong Cement football club — it even inspired a corker of a headline “Denilson cements deal in Vietnam“. At first people assumed, okay, I did, it was another Denilson, like, the wrong one altogether. Perhaps they’d gone onto eBay and mistakenly bought Denílson Custódio Machado, the 65-year old former Brazilian midfielder, who was known as King of the Stepovers back in the swinging sixties, when goalkeepers could still smoke if bored. Then people presumed — on hearing it was indeed Denílson de Oliveira Araújo, the former international who was once the most expensive player in the world — why he must be now 40-years old and sure who else would have him. But he’s actually only 31 years old, so now we’re guessing his knees must be knackered. Anyway, Vietnam is rightfully thrilled to have a World Cup winning Brazilian hanging around — if only for the keepie-uppies and games of football tennis -– though you might picture a Brazilian football fan in Sao Paulo, for example, on a cafe terrace reading his morning paper over a coffee with frothy milk, and seeing the same story, and sighing, “Poor auld Denilson, how far the mighty can fall from grace…”

So why did he want to come to Vietnam? Tellingly, he admitted “I don’t know anything about Vietnamese football.” But he believes football “is the same everywhere”. Hmmm, now we know what he means, undoubtedly there are certain universal truths found everywhere, for example, the ball is invariably round, the ref is always a wanker, at the end of the day the team that scores the most goals wins the game, Didier Drogba is a bollocks, Christiano Ronaldo is a puffball, et cetera, but we’re guessing he hasn’t seen a game of football in Vietnam and compared it to, say, a game being played in Serie A. No, we know he’s here for two things: the hot chicks and lots of moolah. The international and national papers couldn’t tell you or anyone else how much he’s earning but The Comical Hat can — a scoop, a scoop! — as we bumped into a Frenchman who knows an injured Ghanaian footballer who plays for some club in the V-league and he overheard someone say, roughly, “that Brazilian chap is on 15K a month”. That’s right 15-thousand dollars (There would appear to be some loose change floating around the local cement business). Not bad for a washed up superstar. 

Anyway, we’ll keep you updated on how he gets on — perhaps he’ll be twittering on his bustrips to Vinh and Buon Ma Thuot — and in the meantime here’s some footage of Denilson showing off at various stages in his career…    

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