Let’s hear it for the boy…


The banning of dancing at karaoke bars was mooted last month — due to the associated vices rather than the deed itself, like, and it’s still on the table according to this article though in the words of Spock it does seem most illogical. But who’s with me here in thinking this sounds vaguely familiar, prompting a certain sense of déjà vudancing is to be banned, young people are frustrated because they just want to dance… Yes, that’s right, we’re thinking “Footloose, cut loose, kick off those Sunday Shoes.” What this town needs — hell, what every town needs – is for a young moody Kevin Bacon to show up fresh from the Big Apple and prove to the man that the devil is not in the dancing-details. Oh no siree Bob — dancing is an expression of youthful zest, how young people voice the inarticulate speech of the inchoate heart — of course, it’s also their way of saying I want to get carnal with that striking young woman I’m bumping and grinding with on the dance floor (lest we forget in Footloose Kevin Bacon eventually scored the girl thanks to the provocative wiggling of his wee hips). Below, for your viewing pleasure, the definitive Footloose scene…

From the original Footloose script [Scene opens in an abandoned barn] Bacon drives in and screeches to a halt and man he’s pissed. Oh yeah. He’s smoking a cigarette — gasp of horror! He’s drinking Corona – woof! And he’s playing loud music with a synthesiser and a saxophone while pouting – rock n’ roll baby! In his mind he’s thinking about how he’s been treated since he came to this redneck infested backwater where dancing has been banned and he’s thinking, man, I’m so frustrated with everything — fancying that girl and getting picked on by that sheriff, and beaten down by the preacher, and ridiculed by the other kids, and I’m all pent up, surely there’s no way I can release this tension, but then, suddenly, he pirouettes…hello? Hmmm… that felt good. He slugs the rest of his beer and hurls the bottle away, and he pirouettes again, then he rotates his pelvis while playing air-guitar — yes, Kevin, yes! Let those demons out through the power of dance! More images briefly flash through his head, threatening to take him back to a dark place of danceless despair, but, oh no, he shakes them out of his mind, and he now knows what he has to do, he has to… run, high-kick, take a series of really fast tiny steps like he’s running through tires, do a somersault – now he’s just free styling, through the stable, he’s ripping off his shirt, he’s banging on the walls, he’s jumping from a height, he’s sliding down banisters, he’s swinging on a rope, then he’s improvising, throwing move after move together in a seamless sequence — Jesus, not even Leroy from Fame could do this shit — then he finds a high bar and he’s doing Olympian-style somersaults, around and around, then he lets go, lands, and has a quick sprint before jumping on the bonnet of a car, and suddenly the girl walks in, and he’s like, um where’s my jumper… oh, it’s over there… [End scene].

Bonus link spillover

  1. You too can learn to dance like Kevin Bacon
  2. Flight of the Conchord’s Brett plays tribute to Kevin Bacon

One Response to “Let’s hear it for the boy…”

  1. Quite frankly, that’s the best rewrite of a Kevin Bacon dance solo in Footloose I’ve ever read! Had me in stitches. I suspect you may have missed your calling as a script writer…

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