The offline world had us waylaid there and for that, as ever, we apologise. But there’s nothing as comforting as coming back online and knowing you’re all here waiting patiently like a flock of ducks in a park pond.
If you’ve been in Vietnam, or if you are here, you’ll know it’s been bucketing down and that my friends means one thing: thit chuot. That’s right it’s ratatouille for supper! But fear not thy lily-livered gastronomes — these are nice plump, furry Cambodian rats. Yum.
“If you prepare them well and fry the meat with garlic and put some mint on it, they’re tastier than chickens,” said a Khmer rat catcher-slash-exporter. The question is sans garlic and sans mint do they taste like shit?
“Rat meat substitutes well for pork these days,” said another, adding that her family exported up to a tonne of live rats across the border on good days.
You’ve also possibly heard the big story… the funniest American comic actor of the last couple of years — yes, that’s right, Alec Baldwin — is coming to town (with NYC’s Philharmonic). Well, in about 6 months. Now I’ll admit its possible we only find him so funny because for the best part of two decades he has looked like someone taking himself way too seriously while acting in some appallingly bad films (Try and name a good film with Alec Baldwin besides Glengarry Glen Ross…). So for him to suddenly reinvent himself as a comic actor certainly gave him the element of surprise (had he deliberately lulled us into a false sense of sureness with Machiavellian guile?). I also hazard to guess that he might not be that funny in real life. On April Fool’s Day he faked a heart attack in front of his daughter and his girlfriend which on a scale of one to 10, 10 being uproariously funny, scored minus 500,000. Nevertheless, I like Jack Donaghy — the cut of his gib and his line of patter in 30 Rock (Tina Fey and her cohort of scriptwriters can take a bow for that), e.g.: “I wish I was a horse — strong, free, my chestnut haunches glistening in the sun.”
And while we have you… could it really be the end for loudspeakers on the streets of Hanoi? I mean, like, hellooooo, can’t you guys start twittering?
Example tweets from the online Hanoi Loudspeaker:
“The Hanoi Loudspeaker: WTF! This pho stall has got WiFi 🙂 05:11AM May 15th
“The Hanoi Loudspeaker: LOL! I just went for pho and forgot I was still in my pyjamas! Don’t think anyone noticed… 04:59AM May 15th
“The Hanoi Loudspeaker: Calling all old men for coffee and chess appointments.04:53AM May 15th
“The Hanoi Loudspeaker: Rise and shine everybody! Remember the early bird gets the first worm! Now go tai chi ladies! Fly my pretties! Fly!
The Hanoi Loudspeaker: Gooooooooood Morning Vietnam! (Sorry, couldn’t resist 😉 LOL’ing uncontrollably)04:30AM May 15th
Bonus Spill Over
- Alec Baldwin profiled in the Newyorker last year: “He is very conscious of what is lacking in his life—a spouse, for example, and a film career something like Jack Nicholson’s, and the governorship of New York…”