Mayor of Tay-Town

08Apr09

Someone suggested that we need a mayor of Tay-town and we’re definitely buzzing with excitement over the idea here at the Comical Hat HQ. We urge you to vote for our very own Teddy de Burca Jnr — at your service  — and we will deliver what we know you need as well as help create a community we can all be proud of.

A vote for Teddy means the possibility of English subtitles to films at the French Film festival — mais oui! – as well as tentative interaction with the enigmatic Russian community. We also promise readily and widely available decent sausages and rashers, exceptionally well behaved taxi drivers with nothing but love and respect for the rules of the road and a tendency to drive under the speed limit, landlords that don’t like surprising you in your own kitchen, draught Guinness, more invitations to free stuff at lavish affairs organised by embassies with scant regard for tight budgets, and for our English friends, more pork scratchings than you can shake a stick at served in a tavern called the Two necked feathered Cock, or The Plastered Pigeon and Parsnip, perhaps. We also promise to encourage someone else to open a New York delicatessen with real bagels and we will demand preemptive technical assistance from FPT. You can also probably expect more hedonistic pool parties hosted by selfless and generous folk dwelling in West Lake mansions, White Christmases, clean sit down toilets for women at bia hoi and sturdy plastic stools for strapping big boned men and, of course, last but not least, daily parades of hatted comicality.

We’ll keep you up to date on our campaign as we get the ball rolling and watch this space for more frivolous but deadly serious promises to improve your life as a Tay…

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6 Responses to “Mayor of Tay-Town”

  1. 1 Aaron

    You had me at draught Guinness.

  2. Yeah the old widget cans just don’t quite cut the Dijon moutarde… think I’m going to go on youtube and see if I can find footage of pints being poured and slowly settling on the bar…

  3. That didn’t take long — http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d15lJn1r0Mk

    I hate that man

  4. While skiing in some cheap spot in the Pyrenees I met a couple from Taunton in England on their honeymoon. Dawn and … his name escapes me. They had met on his stag to another woman. Dawn was working behind the bar, and was heard to say: “This is my last chance to get him” The name of the bar where the dirty deed was done? The Ferret and Trouser.

  5. Worthy of being incorporated into an episode of Eastenders, a Christmas Special perhaps…

  6. and yeah… they love them so they do — the weird bar names: The Mucky Duck. The Rat and Parrot. The Slug and Lettuce. The Fleece and Firkin (?) …

    I read about a “make your own English pub name-game” once — it was a bit like make up your own porn star name except a lot simpler and even less entertaining.

    Perhaps, you could take your favourite or least favourite animal or fruit or vegetable or item of clothing or outdated object/ noun and combine with your friends favourite or least favourite animal or fruit or item of clothing or outdated object/ noun. Write it down on two bits of paper separately then combine to create your own English pub name — I just did it with my colleague: our pub will either be The Orange Bowler or the Bowler’s Orange


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