It’s St Patricks’ Day…
You can probably tell by the way Shamrock is sprouting out of the word Google it’s St. Patrick’s Day. People — Irish or not — these days like to say to each other “Happy St Patrick’s Day” as if it’s like Christmas or every Irish person in the world’s birthday. They’re missing the point that it’s much more accurately described as Happy Irish-bar Owners Abroad Day for it’s as if all their Christmases and birthdays shall come at once with everybody and everybody’s mother horsing back the demon drink till the cows come home.
If you’re not Irish and wondering what to do on St Patrick’s Day may we advise what you shouldn’t do: a) ring up your Irish friend and say ‘to be sure, to be sure, to be sure’, ‘ooo begum and begorrah’, ‘Did you hear the one about the stupid Irishman….’ b) Start doing a Riverdance-esque jig on a table to impress your Irish friends (see below) c) wear a t-shirt that says kiss me I’m Irish.
… not that we’re trying to be all-Bah humbug about the whole thing, we just urge you to show a bit of restraint when it comes to the mock-Paddy-whackery. It’s not as if we go around in berets and French onion man shirts saying “Voulez vous couchez avec moi ce soir baby” or “Ou est le centre George Pompidou?” every Bastille Day or donning bowler hats and monocules for St. George’s Day and saying, “Ohhhh, I say, how now brown cow”, “That’s absolutely spiffing old bean”… is it, eh?
So what will The Comical Hat’s sensitively-Irish staff members be doing this evening? We’ll be shunning the Ferrero Rocher offered by the ambassador at a five-star hotel and leading the rabble to a bia hoi for chip-butties, sausages and dyed-green-bia, preferably in the rain with a buffeting breeze roseying our ruddy cheeks.
- The luck of the O’ Simpsons — a St Patrick’s special set in Ireland
- Myth buster — It’s true… St Patrick was British, he didn’t wear green, Irish people hate leprechauns, we don’t eat corned beef, drink green beer or know anybody with a name like Fibber McGee…
- Local trivia question: There are three Irish bars in Hanoi… can you name them? Answers in the comment box please. Bet you can’t. Disclaimer: you’re disqualified if we told you the answer in the flesh within the last week.
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