Vietnamese entrant fails to turn heads at Miss Unibarse



It wasn’t her year. Miss Vietnam’s that is. She blew it with that ghastly evening gown! Still Vietnam can be proud she — không biết tên là gì — did manage to get into the Top 20 at Miss Unibarse 2008 — which in case you didn’t know, and I sincerely hope you didn’t, is a global beauty pageant for dolls — and from wee little acorns grow big old oak trees: Come on girls/ dolls — get that prized tiara to Vietnamese soil!

Oh where to start: strange, terrifying, disturbing, mystifying, baffling… yes, all those things. You can meet the candidates here if you want and see which of those scorching hot plastic homunculi you’d have chosen, if you were one to judge.  The pageant appears to follow the customary formula of the ‘real event’. There’s a twirl in an evening gown, a vibrant display of alluring national costumes…


…an opportunity for raunchy bikinis


… there’s even a feckin’ Q&A section: Question for Miss Afghanistan: If you have the whole world listening to you and there’s one thing you could say to the world, what would you say? Answer: If had a chance to speak to the world, I would like to say that the perfection of humanity already exist (sic) and that our job is to lift the veils that make us think that it doesn’t.

Vietnam is no doubt down in the mouth having lost out on the top honours but with the country now an internationally recognised host of prestigious beauty pageants let’s hope that we’ll soon see Miss Unibarse being held in a Nha Trang resort sometime soon. Then we can pack our GI Joes and Action Men and see if they can get it on in the Sailing Club when the sun goes down. 

In case you’re wondering Miss Dominican Republic won Miss Unibarse 2008 — oh curse those foxy bronzed Latina dolls! — thanks to an ass that just won’t quit, a lithe body, an engaging personality and an inspirational awareness of our environment. In her own words, “It is not too late to save our planet.” Of course, it’s too late for the unibarse.


Overspill links

  • Check out Miss Unibarse’s myspace page! (Body Type: 0’11” — Here for: Networking/ Friends — Children: Undecided)
  • The Comical Hat’s Irish heart certainly skipped a beat over this beautiful red-haired cailín
  • Watch highlights of the 2008 pageant on youtube


One Response to “Vietnamese entrant fails to turn heads at Miss Unibarse”

  1. Unibarse… short for “universal barbie arse”? Might be worth trying to run a similar competition with My Little Ponies…

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