Punch ups and vigilantes
With the simple application of a hat you too could be Napoleon Bonaparte, a clown or even a 19th century French priest…
- Punch up at a wedding: It is pretty hard saying no to a glass of ruou in Vietnam when you’re not in the mood. “Very sorry but I’m on medication!” is my preferred method. Just pull out some tic tacs from your pocket, rattle them and look like you’re really sad not to be drinking from the top shelf. Saying “I’m a recovering alcoholic and I haven’t touched a drop in 10 years and if I even have one sip of a whisky I’ll probably go mad, ravage your girlfriend, punch your lights out, go on a month long bender, lose my wife, job, house, so if it’s alright I’ll stick to the fizzy pop”, just doesn’t cut the mustard. That’s not the point! You have been invited to a toast and it’s the height of discourtesy to refuse, no doubt especially if it’s from your newly acquired in laws. But yet… at a wedding in Can Tho a right auld barney broke out over such a curt refusal. The bride’s family refused to chuc suc khoe with a glass of grog as they hadn’t eaten yet and the glasses were too large. Things escalated to the extent that clubs and bottles were cracked on heads. I know… whatever happened to Queensbury Rules? (By the way, speaking of the Queensbury rules, did you know rule no. 11 is: No shoes or boots with springs are allowed?) Anyway, the newly weds are now separated having never actually lived together. It would make for a nice short film…
- Vigilante of the year: That’ll be Nguyen Thi Loan – “A year ago, when I was five months pregnant, my husband was frightened when he saw me throw a kick at a thief,” Loan remembers laughing. “Another time, he was shocked to see me fighting a thief, 2 months after giving birth”. On over 40 occasions, she has selflessly protected her community from banditry…. ” I don’t know how you ‘throw a kick’ but I’m sure it’s a sight to behold. Read the full story here if you can be bothered.
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