PHO-shizzle… my nizzle?

06Oct09

There I was twittering away this morning when I stumbled on an ode to Vietnam’s prized noodle soup pho (fuh) by a teenager named Pho (pho^) over at the ultra-prolific VietnamTweets (also blogging here). Sounds cute enough but it’s actually an ode to himself and his sexual prowess. You see Pho is a rapper from Boston.

It’s still an unusual opening gambit for a rapper to promise that he’ll compare himself to a bowl of noodle soup — “Pho“. But that’s what he does. You see it’s not just “the letters in [his] name”, the similarities are multiple and it’s all very SEXUAL (or just crude and lewd, if you like): “I can see it on your face you want me in your mouth, you wanna see how I taste, I’ll have you sweatin’ profusely tryin’ to take it down, my meat is so juicy…”

He confesses he likes to be “slurped” towards the end and that he’s full of “white stuff”. Later he pleads for his woman not to leave so soon [that accursed post-coital vulnerability, like], ‘cos “I’m no homo but I like to get spooned…” He runs out of juice in the second verse and starts to make little sensetelling us, “You loving this bean sprout…”, “One things for certain you want me all the time, you’re gonna be squirting, ‘cos I gotta lot of lime…”

He cranks out the un-pho-gettable word play with a few shout outs towards the end, “Pho-ever, pho-sho‘, pho-real, pho-nomenal, pho-geddaboutit!”

He clearly seems to have forgotten “What the PHO?” Perhaps he can save that one for his next Youtube vid. He could go to a Bun Cha joint and get irate with the owner…  “Yo! What is this? Little-bitty pork patties in a luke warm vinegary broth? What the pho!? I’m gonna knock yo block off…” before popping a cap in the barbecuing bitch’s ass.

Now that would be pho-nomenal…



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